Billman Top Ten

I few years ago I had the distinct pleasure of working with a dude named Billman. He had his own fractured view of the world. I once collected a top ten list of some of his daily observations. Our colleagues got a big kick out of them. Here they are:


10. I'd rather sit on a pile of money than have a nice chair.

9. These computers have become a Leviathan--there's no one here to help me-- and then they wonder why I bring a gun to work.

8. I need to take something to make myself throw up--if you do that once, does that make you bulimic?

7. Right now, my breath could etch glass.

6. There's only so many times you can dial 911. . . now where's my bag. . . oh, its in my office.

5. I gave up on my life . . . and I'm a lot happier since.

4. Getting away with it is a hell of a way to go thru life.

3. The thing that keeps me from being the worst loser is that I know I'm a loser.

2. I liked it here until enough people told me I didn't like it here.

1. I know what women want . . . I can't give it to them, but I know what they want.